FATHER TO A SON In my opinion, the relationship between a father and his son should be special, and that can only happen if you have mutual respect for each other. Mutual respect, however, can only be built by your actions and that doesn't always happen and I realize that. In a lot of cases if there is no mutual respect it can lead to a serious disconnect in the father son relashionship and can turn into resentment but fortunately for me that has never been the case and I am grateful for that.The hardest thing in the world has never really been my disability but I have always had great difficulty in the inadequacy that I feel due to my disability in trying to be a good father to my son. And that's because he has only ever known me as a disabled person, and that has always been very hard for me to rationalize. I have never been able to help him in a way that a father would like to help his son. He has always had to learn to do things himself. But in a way, it has probably made him stronger and a more rounded individual and for that reason alone I know I don't have to worry about him. But there has never been that father-to-son bond between us because he's never really been able to understand what I've had to go through as a disabled father to a son and the inadequacies that I've felt. And the real credit for raising him should go to my wife Jane who has held the family together because she has had to shoulder the real responsibility of being a father and a mother and do all the things that I should have done with him. And because of that, there has never been a father-to-son relationship like there was between me and my dad for example. But I'm sure that it's not just me who has had the same feeling of being a disabled parent where their children have only ever known them with a disability. I realized very early on in Callum's life that there would always be a feeling of disconnect between us and as my disability has worsened I've found myself pulling away from him so as not to have to burden him with the responsibility of me because I am well aware that he deserves as carefree a life as possible. That doesn't mean to say that he doesn't care or worry about me because I'm sure he does and as much as I feel inadequate at times to be able to help him in little ways as a father would do I'm sure it must be the same but in a slightly different way for him because being a disabled parent doesn't just impact on my feelings and the way I see my relationship him he must see the way that my disability has affected the way his perception of being a son to someone who has a disability has come to impact on the way he thinks about me. Having a disability have far-reaching effects on the whole family structure and can change the way a family relationship can develop and eventually become and I have been well aware of that as my son has grown into a strong healthy man. But that's the way that life is and you have to adjust to every obstacle that it puts in front of you and Callum and I have tried to do that. But it's not all negativity because there is nobody prouder than me to see the strong sensitive loving person that my son has become through careful guidance and love from my wife Jane who has had to shoulder the responsibility of being a father and a mother at times as well as having to look after my needs as well so she has really been the rock that our family has been built on and I will forever be in her debt for having to do everything that she has had to do for both of us.