RUBIN'S WORLD It's 2037, and Commander Rubin Fray is an astronaut on a deep space mission from Earth searching for a planet known as E2, which could potentially provide a new future world for the human race. It appears to have all the vital elements to sustain human life and more but it needs to be confirmed that it is safe and inhabitable. The original mission was going to be commanded by one of the all-new, state-of-the-art, free-thinking Robonauts but due to doubts about reliability, or at least that was the official reason given. the mission was changed at the last minute. Rubin Fray's log. stardate, 24 23 2037. Time seems to pass so slowly in deep space, and yet it's the opposite because we are moving at warp speed so fast that the stars outside our cockpit window have become a complete blur. But hopefully, in the next six hours Quaver my robot assistant will drop us out of warp speed at the designated star map reference within a variable of three point seven eight. one point six eight two. We should be close enough to a planet known as E2. Or, at least that is what we hope it turns out to be before we colonise it. Or, at least that's the plan but it has to be explored and declared safe for humanoid species before that can happen. This is why Quaver and I are here to map reference the planet so it can be certified safe. The current scans seem to show all the elements that humanoids will need to survive and a few more besides but we won't know until we land and explore and reference everything. That will be Quaver's assignment, my onboard robot which is programmed to protect me from any possible threat. But advanced scanning of the planet's surface seems to indicate no obvious life signs apart from the occasional sporadic indications of alien wildlife. Which will have to be certified safe by the onboard ship's computer. But, it all seems very exciting for Quaver and myself. We are the frontiersmen of outer space. Explorers. Pioneers. Interplanetary space travel was always going to be problematic, however sophisticated the design was. The starship was the most advanced spacecraft ever built. It had been initially designed for Robonauts but at the last minute, the design had been restructured to accommodate an astronaut, regardless of how difficult it would eventually be. I suppose the overriding thought was that the Robonaut units were so far advanced that a free-thinking, all-purpose Robonaut could quite easily rewrite the whole mission and take over. And then the need for control by any organic intelligence however flawed and illogical it might be would never be able to outthink the most highly advanced and sophisticated humanoid style Robonaut. That was the danger. It was Taylor made for the deep space exploration project and humanoid addition would be a complete waste of oxygen and resources that might be carried aboard an intergalactic spaceship. That was always the main concern about the new prototype units designed for this specific purpose, it came down to a question of trust. At that point in the development of the inter-planetary Robonaut units, it was decided that there needed to be a shutdown switch or override device built in so that if there was any sign of the unit malfunctioning or attempting to rewrite its program it could immediately be shut down. This was a possibility considering most of the strategic planning had been written by computers. It seemed anything was possible. That is why Commander Frey had been added to the mission so that he would be in overall command and would make the crucial decisions. That was the reasoning. A machine was a machine at the end of the day. Developed merely for the gratification of humankind. I often wonder what it must feel like to be in the existence of space, weightless, just floating about in nothing, drifting around amongst the stars without a care in the world. No need to breathe, no need to feel anything, no anger, no frustration, no pain, no suffering, no nothing. Just to be there in that vast ocean of blackness gazing out at those distant planets so far away. That serene God-like gaze you would have when you look back at the reality you have left behind. All that anguish, frustration and sheer effort it took to cope with an illness that you have had to endure for all those years have gone in the blink of an eye. Life as you once knew it doesn't exist anymore and all sense of time has disappeared. The reality of what you once were has been left behind, millions of light-years away. Your whole being is just a flicker of light that you see when you gaze up at the stars. And then you wonder what the future might hold. But then you realise that there is no future because there is no time so the laws that used to apply don't exist anymore. So all that struggle and anxiety that you once felt has left you and disappears into memory. And all of a sudden you start to wonder if this is what it feels like to move on to metamorph into some other form of being. And then you realise it is nothing to fear and you just drift away content in the knowledge what you once were doesn't exist anymore and has changed forever. I opened my eyes. I was in a different time. On a different planet. An unknown shore. Is there anybody out there I thought. I was in a different time a different place. I was a traveller in time. I was stranded on an alien world, and yet it seemed so familiar, recognisable. light years away from anything I had ever known. a known civilisation with nobody to talk to. So I'll talk to you and play some music along the way. You're listening to Rubin's World. Have you any idea what desolation is? Still, I have everything I need plus more besides. But, it would be nice to have somebody to talk to instead of talking to myself. On this night of all nights, I looked up at the stars in the night sky and it was waiting to be explored. Waiting to be discovered. And I instinctively knew that one day I would find what I was looking for, a way forward. And, even if I didn't know what it was. That didn't matter, because it filled me with hope for the future and better days ahead. As one door closes another door opens and you enter a new space a new beginning. Rubin sat down on the top of his lonely mountain and looked around at his unknown world he was happy in the moment happy in his universe. Happy in his own time. Because he knew that love would carry him to where he wanted to be. And that's all it took. That one little thought. And then he was sure he could survive whatever this alien planet could throw at him. Love would survive. Rubin Frey looked out into deep space and realised how insignificant he was. And yet he was life itself. He was unique. A vital organic entity on a distant planet. What if a planet is a living organism and each planet is part of an entire entity and we are a microcosm of the entity? It was mindblowing and yet possible. Rubin was beginning to understand the Cosmos. He was learning each day and becoming aware of the fact that he wasn't alone because his world was life itself. A living planet. I started with nothing, I will end with nothing. Materialism means absolutely nothing. It doesn't mean a thing. The important thing is my spirit. Spirit to help me to carry on, that loves life. The human spirit within me. My humanity. Without humanity, I simply wouldn't be me. I enjoy opening my eyes in the morning and climbing into bed and closing them at night. I am happy in my skin. I have that strength of purpose, strength of will that helps carry me through the thunder and the rain. I live my life with gratitude. My life has taught me that. The most important thing is to have some relevance and to keep moving forward with optimism. I have enthusiasm for life and I look forward to a new tomorrow a brighter future but not before I've enjoyed today. I stand here grounded in reality. Living in the moment. My time is my universe. Hard but fair. Full of surprise and wonder. The place of my inner happiness. The unshakeable resolve that can carry me through and accept my fate without anger resentment or frustration. I have educated myself to live a life that very few would understand. A life without luxury and materialism. A spiritual life. A life of mindfulness and creativity. I life of clarity. I am learning about myself. Learning about what makes Rubin Fray the person he is. My spiritual self. My motivation. My inner world. My inner sanctum. My soul. The worst time is usually late at night. Those are the moments. I can hear the lost souls. I can hear everything. They hit you like a ton of bricks for no apparent reason. The normality of everyday life ceases to be of any relevance and comfort and your nighttime demons begin. You close your eyes and you enter the kingdom of the night. All you can imagine in front of you is the void. You have too much time to think. To wonder what might be? To worry and feel anxious about what the future might bring? And it's a scary place to be because you can see no future and no way forward and it feels like your whole world is collapsing and you've lost control of your positive thoughts and you feel lost and all alone. But it is natural to feel like that Isn't it? It's natural anxiety amplified when you consider all the narcotic drugs that you have to take to stabilise your condition. but it doesn't feel like that at the time. It can be very very scary. I know because I've been there quite a few times and I will go there again. You have to face that fear of the unknown look it straight in the eye and tell it to go away. Rubin Frey knelt on one knee and looked up to the stars. And he said a prayer to Andromeda. I am the universe. And, the universe is me. I am the stars. And the stars shine brightly all around me. Whatever was going to happen to me was always meant to be. And this is all there is, and all there will ever be. The universe is the brave shield, that protects me from all harm. And the brightest star in the northern sky shines down on me, and we shall be as one. For, I am the universe, and the universe is me. As Rubin looked up a gigantic meteorite flew overhead, and then he knew for sure that somebody was looking after him. Andromeda. Oh, sweet Andromeda. Thank you We are all on a spiritual journey to the top of a lonely mountain to find ourselves. To find out who we are. What we are made of. We are all travellers in time. We are soul-searching. Time will never stand still and you have to understand and accept the fact. The distance you managed to walk today may not be the distance you can walk tomorrow but that doesn't mean that you have to give up walking completely. You must be mindful of your actions and how far you go. Mindfulness and attitude are essential if you want to live a long life. You might be able to swim the width of a river but not the ocean. Nothing will ever stay the same and everything will eventually have to change. Change is inevitable because everything moves on. All things must pass. Dust will return to dust. A river may never become an ocean. But is still pounding like a heartbeat. Strength comes at the most impossible of times when you feel at your most vulnerable you find that your flame still burns and you are still alive. Still relevant. And you can find comfort and joy from the fact you are still in the land of the here and now. Admit your vulnerability. Don't fear weakness because it's part of your humanity. I looked up to the stars and I felt so small and insignificant in comparison. And we are all part of the same universe. A grain of sand on a distant shoreline. But we are all part of the same. Part of a vast ocean. Each planet is a grain of sand in a universal ocean. A grain of sand is as important as the desert that it came from. Water is as important as an ocean. We are all as one. Rubin Fray often wonders what it must feel like to be in space, weightless, just floating about in nothing, drifting around amongst the stars without a care in the world. No need to breathe, no need to feel anything, no anger, no frustration, no pain, no suffering, no nothing. Just to be there in that vast ocean of blackness gazing out at those distant planets so far away. That serene God-like gaze you would have when you look back at the reality you have left behind. All that anguish, frustration and sheer effort it took to cope with an illness that you have had to endure for all those years have gone in the blink of an eye. Life as you once knew it doesn't exist anymore and all sense of time has disappeared. The reality of what you once were has been left behind, millions of light-years away. Your whole being is just a flicker of light that you see when you gaze up at the stars. And then you wonder what the future might hold. But then you realise that there is no future because there is no time so the laws that used to apply don't exist anymore. So all that struggle and anxiety that you once felt has left you and disappears into memory. And all of a sudden you start to wonder if this is what it feels like to move on to metamorph into some other form of being. And then you realise it is nothing to fear and you just drift away content in the knowledge what you once were doesn't exist anymore and has changed forever Quaver sat at the control panel of the Andromeda while Rubin was fast asleep and began calculating a logarithm. And then another. And another. Quaver began calculating hundreds of thousands of logarithms simultaneously and at such speed that no human being could ever calculate or understand. And then he suddenly stopped. And the flight deck of the Andromeda was quiet again. Quaver began to answer his question. A smart Robot he thought could predict that a creator would want to turn it off if it made us nervous. So it would try hard not to make us nervous because doing so wouldn't help it accomplish its goals. If asked what its intentions are, or what it's working on, it would attempt to evaluate which responses are least likely to get it shut off and answer with those. If it wasn't competent enough to do that, it might pretend to be even dumber than it was, anticipating that researchers would give it more time, computing resources, and training data. So we might not know when it's the right moment to shut off a computer. We also might do things that make it impossible to shut off the computer later, even if we realize eventually that it's a good idea. There was a pause of silence and then Quaver muttered to himself, to be, or not to be, that is the question.

The most important thing you have to understand from day one of diagnosis with Parkinson's is that you can slow it down but you will never stop it regardless of what you do whether it is surgery, exercise or whatever because with the ageing process of life, your brain and body cannot be as good as the day before and that's a fact. We all age and cells die regardless. But it doesn't happen straight away. One day can feel like a lifetime if you want it to be. So enjoy the moment. Enjoy each day and live it to the full. And think about tomorrow and the day after that when tomorrow comes because you are not there yet. The biggest problem in life is that we worry so much about our future and we forget about today. So stop worrying about things that never come to pass and project yourself into the future because the future will take care of itself and what will be will be. And say to yourself I am the universe and my universe is me and whatever is going to happen to me was always meant to be and then you can smile about today and enjoy the moment because that's what truly matters in your life and nothing else. Right here, right now.

We are all on a spiritual journey to the top of a lonely mountain to find ourselves. To find out who we are. What we are made of. We are all travellers in time. We are soul-searching. Time will never stand still and you have to understand and accept the fact. The distance you managed to walk today may not be the distance you can walk tomorrow but that doesn't mean that you have to give up walking completely. You need to be mindful of what you are doing and how far you go. Mindfulness and attitude are extremely important if you want to live a long life. You might be able to swim the width of a river but not the ocean. Nothing will ever stay the same and everything will eventually have to change. Change is inevitable because everything moves on. All things must pass. Dust will return to dust. A river may never become an ocean. But is still pounding like a heartbeat. Strength comes at the most impossible of times when you feel at your most vulnerable you find that your flame still burns and you are still alive. Still relevant. And you can find comfort and joy from the fact you are still in the land of the here and now. Admit your vulnerability. Don't fear weakness because it's part of your humanity. I looked up to the stars and I felt so small and insignificant in comparison. And we are all part of the same universe. A grain of sand on a distant shoreline. But we are all part of the same. Part of a vast ocean. Each planet is a grain of sand in a universal ocean. A grain of sand is as important as the desert that it came from. Water is as important as an ocean. We are all as one