THE YEAR IS ZERO. Wednesday 2:45 pm August 17th, 1977 I will remember this day for the rest of my life because my life literally hit a brick wall and stopped. This was the day my life was blown away by a nuclear explosion in my brain. Or at least, that's how it felt to me. I had just turned off the television and I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, and I was in shock. The sky was angry with me and I didn't know what to do. I had just celebrated my nineteenth birthday sixteen days before with my whole life ahead of me and I had found myself falling into a black hole with no way out. I had Parkinson's. I had to reset and start again. This was year Zero. This was the first day of the rest of my life. This was day one. I have spent most of my life wandering around in a world full of wilderness desolation, loneliness, and frustration. That's how Parkinson's can make you feel. A lost soul in a desolate place with nowhere to go. With no end in sight, no hope, and no future. But there is a way out of the wilderness and I will show you that it's possible. I called it the year Zero. This is the first year of the rest of my life. This is the year Zero. I ran into an unmovable object at terminal velocity and disintegrated into a million pieces of crystalline. The only problem was that I didn't see it because I had my eyes closed and my hands behind my back, and I was still picking up the pieces and trying to superglue them back together again. And this was the day I finally accepted I had Parkinson's disease. I had been going through the motions of how I thought life was supposed to map out. The prognosis was not looking good as there was never going to be an improvement and my general health would decline, which is a pretty grim assessment for anybody to take on board. And yet, for some strange reason, it doesn't seem to mean anything, because it feels like I'm on a space flight to a distant part of the galaxy which I will never reach. And after all these years you would have thought that I could see the end looming in the distance, and whilst I realize that I will end up there with very few dopamine cells, it's the farthest thing from my mind right now because I am planning what I am going to do in the future. This time is precious to me and I will try to get as much out of it as I possibly can and not feel sorry for myself. And, if only I could make it compulsory to think proactively like that I would, but unfortunately, we tend to narrow our horizons and start thinking about what we can't do instead of thinking about the things that we can. It's all about evolution and understanding your own capabilities because if you don't then the chance is gone. And it's because we stop thinking and we wait, and we hope that something will be found to save us from this miserable existence of ours like a cure, but, unfortunately, if you live in the real world, as I do, life is just not like that and you could be waiting around forever. And while there's nothing wrong with being optimistic, reality will tell you otherwise. So my life has evolved to fit reality, and my reality is the here and now. n by the medical world on how I should live with Parkinson's and have followed my own judgment.

I have had Parkinson's for most of my natural-born life and it has restricted me in virtually everything I have wanted to do or achieve you would think that I would be so angry with it and resent it for what it has done to me and how I have suffered through all these years of having had it and yet it has taught me everything I know and it has been with like an unwanted friend who I can't get rid of and just have to put up with. And that's the problem with the way the majority of PWP find themselves looking at it. They can only the negative side of it with the day-to-day physical struggle and the anxiety and the sleepless nights and the pain and all the rest of the symptoms that you can possibly think of that you can have and that's the reality of it. It's not very nice, it's difficult and for some, it's just too much to have to cope with, and yet when you look beyond that as I have now after all these years it has become a normal way of life. And that is such a difficult thing to understand and accept. And for some people, they will never understand why anybody would think like that about the disease as a lot of people perceive it to be. But I don't see it as being like that because you reach a point, having lived with it for as long as I have that you just have to accept what you've got. You have to learn to live with it and manage it because the reality of the situation is that it is never going to go away so the sooner you can come to terms with that the better. And it is when you reach that point that you realize the harsh truth about what you are going to have to do and learn to cope with it. It's not easy but there's no alternative and you just have to accept it for what it is. It's a disability but when you see beyond that you realize that it's a test of your character as well to see whether you can cope with the constantly changing symptoms and daily struggles. You have to realize that you are being challenged as to whether you can adapt and adjust to the lifestyle you are faced with. And I have managed to do that and that is the reason why I chronicle all my experiences now because I realize that it is like a roadmap for anybody who has to come to terms with this condition in the future. I didn't really think about how long I have had to live with it because it has just become a normal way of life to me but to most people, it is just one long struggle that they find difficult to cope with. And the reason for that is that they don't see it for what it is. It is and has become part of themselves so they either accept it or they try to fight against it but in the end, there is only going to be one winner and it's not going to be them. The problem is that most people can't get away from the idea of seeing Parkinson's as an affliction or disease that needs to be purged from their body eradicated or even cured. Well if only life was as simple as that, we'd throw even more of our hard-earned cash into it and before you know it Hey presto we would have a miracle vaccine or cure as is the case with COVID-19 dare I say it but that is just isn't going to happen in my view because it's not a disease. I think it's part of everybody's genetic makeup, in other words, it's a part of you and always has been, so if you can accept that then you can start to understand what you must do to learn to live with it. And it's not easy but it can be done.

THE LETTER I am a very quiet and simple man but I have lived quite an extraordinary life. I have survived Parkinson's disease for longer than anybody. And it could have been one day but I didn't want to become Elephant Man. I prefer to write about my life and stare at the Cosmos above my head. And maybe one day write a book. And you know that you have something that might be worth reading Dear Professor Lees My name is Robert James Keene. I was born in nineteen fifty-eight in Cannock Staffordshire and have had symptomatic Parkinsonism for most of my life, almost certainly since the age of thirteen due to anxiety and hyperactivity issues. I was showing very early signs of loss of coordination whilst learning to swim when I was unable to kick with my legs and stroke with my arms in a coordinated fashion. By fifteen I was having difficulty learning to play the guitar because I couldn't strum and play chords at the same time but who would have seen a connection with Parkinson's in the early seventies for somebody so young? I was eventually diagnosed at the age of twenty-nine but I suspect it was developing in my teenage years certainly by the age of nineteen when I began dragging my left leg for no apparent reason and stopped swinging my left arm whilst walking. I am now sixty-five and have to live with severe dyskinesia due to taking five doses of Madopar per day, the only reason being that it helps with mobility. I have developed the traditional Parkinson's stoop as well as other symptoms such as freezing gait and shuffling. Indeed all the obvious indications of Parkinsonism and yet something has never felt quite right about the diagnosis. Is it possible without reviewing my case notes that hyperactivity and anxiety issues could lead to junior Parkinson's syndrome? Or should it have been treated as a hyperactive thyroid due to high levels of adrenalin in my bloodstream? Indeed there was some doubt at the time as my initial treatment was propranolol due to hyperactivity and anxiety. I was asked if I had ever been involved in crop spraying or had used hard drugs but my answer was always the same. I was eventually officially diagnosed with Junior Parkinson's syndrome and yet something didn't feel quite right. If you consider all the facts it would seem to indicate Parkinson's, but is it? In fairness to you and because I realize that time is money I wouldn't expect you to reply but if you find my letter of interest I would be interested to hear your thoughts on the possible connection between adrenalin and Parkinson's. Yours sincerely Robert James Keene Dear Mr Keene Juvenile Parkinsonism if that is your diagnosis is rare and usually caused by a genetic mutation even when there is nobody else in your family with the malady Without seeing your neurological case notes it is impossible for me to say anything useful If you and your medical advisors are unsure whether you have dopamine depletion this would be the sort of situation where a DAT scan might be helpful All best wishes Professor Lees Thank you so much Professor Lees for your prompt reply. I found the point about genetic mutation very interesting particularly in connection with an announcement from the Michael J. Fox Foundation that they now might have found a way to identify biomarkers that could eventually lead to prevention. As regards the possibility of a genetic mutation, to my knowledge of my family history there is nobody that I am aware of who has any condition that could have a connection with Parkinsonism. When I was originally diagnosed the results were inconclusive until my case history was reviewed by the late Professor Marsden who was of the opinion that it was a juvenile and quite rare form of Parkinsonism but there was still an element of doubt. This has prompted me to request a copy of my case history which dates back to the early eighties I will gladly send you a copy if it is of interest to you because I would be very interested in what you make of it as I approach my fiftieth year of sufferance. Yours sincerely, Robert James Keene Dear Mr. Keene David Marsden was a colleague of mine and a friend so very keen to see your notes. I assume you have been under active review since then and genetic testing has been considered? All best wishes Professor Andrew Lees

Dear Dr. Lees, My name is Robert James Keene. I was born in nineteen fifty-eight in Cannock Staffordshire and have had symptomatic Parkinsonism for most of my life, almost certainly since the age of thirteen due to anxiety and hyperactivity issues. I was showing very early signs of loss of coordination whilst learning to swim when I was unable to kick with my legs and stroke with my arms in a coordinated fashion. By fifteen I was having difficulty learning to play the guitar because I couldn't strum and play chords at the same time but who would have seen a connection with Parkinson's in the early seventies for somebody so young? I was eventually diagnosed at the age of twenty-nine but I suspect it was developing in my teenage years certainly by the age of nineteen when I began dragging my left leg for no apparent reason and stopped swinging my left arm whilst walking. I am now sixty-five and have to live with severe dyskinesia due to taking five doses of Madopar per day, the only reason being that it helps with mobility. I have developed the traditional Parkinson's stoop as well as other symptoms such as freezing gait and shuffling. Indeed all the obvious indications of Parkinsonism and yet something has never felt quite right about the diagnosis. Is it possible without reviewing my case notes that hyperactivity and anxiety issues could lead to junior Parkinson's syndrome? Or should it have been treated as a hyperactive thyroid due to high levels of adrenalin in my bloodstream? Indeed there was some doubt at the time as my initial treatment was propranolol due to hyperactivity and anxiety. I was asked if I had ever been involved in crop spraying or had used hard drugs but my answer was always the same. I was eventually officially diagnosed with Junior Parkinson's syndrome and yet something didn't feel quite right. If you consider all the facts it would seem to indicate Parkinson's, but is it? In fairness to you and because I realize that time is money I wouldn't expect you to reply but if you find my letter of interest I would be interested to hear your thoughts on the possible connection between adrenalin and Parkinson's. Yours sincerely, Robert James Keene

I can remember opening my eyes on a beautiful summer morning and it felt so quiet and so peaceful as if I was the last person left on the planet. And I had no sense of loneliness as I felt the night before and I felt at peace with myself and the world around me. It seemed as if Parkinson's had almost left me for that brief moment in time and I felt relatively normal again. The bees were busily buzzing in the eaves of the house as they have done every summer, noisily going about their business looking after the queen bee. I could hear the birds singing their joyful song, as the tall poplar trees outside my bedroom window bent into the gentle breeze and it was a happy place to be. Nature seemed at one with itself. I felt at one with myself. I sat up in bed and waited for the medication to work so that I would feel balanced enough to walk to the bathroom. As I shuffled towards the door I could feel the furry tail of Milly our cat persuasively wrapping her tail around my leg, miaowing and trying to persuade me to go into the kitchen. So I succumbed to her charms, as I always do, and gave her some cream out of the fridge before she smacked her lips together happily and went on her way out through the catflap and into the garden to explore. I have to savor simple moments like this. They don't happen too often, and I know that they won't last forever and will change in time. You realize how important those simple little things are in life. They are the essence of our lives when nothing very important seems to be happening, and yet everything is happening. Life is going on around us and, as insignificant as it might seem in all its innocence and glory. But I did that one particular morning and it was an incredible feeling. It put everything in perspective. I realized that all was as it should be. Nothing had changed on that one summer morning. I made myself a cup of tea and I went outside into our wonderful garden. I walked down the garden path and opened up the summer house and I felt like a new man again and perfectly normal. It still felt quite chilly because the sun hadn't come around the back of the house to burn off the morning dew. But it was nice and quiet, and it felt so good to be outside in the fresh air with the blue sky above me and the earth below. I felt calm and happy just to be alive and it felt good to see the natural world around me. And for once in my life I didn't feel the need for anything artificial like a radio or television. They didn't seem to belong in the world I was in. I didn't need them because I was happy in my own company. Listening to the gentle breeze, blowing in the trees was music in my ears. Nature was singing to me and telling me I was normal again. I sat there very quietly, drank my cup of tea, and felt good about myself. Life to me is very simple now. I realize that I don't need possessions to make me smile. To make me feel happy. It's the simple things that matter so why overcomplicate my life and make it stressful? It's stress that has made me seriously ill and I realize that now and I wash my hands of it. I really don't need it because it has damaged me beyond repair. Life in a chemical world has polluted people. So, while I am still here I am going to enjoy moments like this. That simple cup of tea tasted wonderful as a jet plane roared over my head. Robert James Keene 2023

PARKINSON'S AFRICA There's a certain hypocrisy about living with Parkinson's that most of us who think we suffer don't understand. In reality, we don't suffer at all. We get help from the state. And if we don't get help from our respective governments we have enough money in our pockets to buy the medication that we need. Or at least some of it at the very least. And if we need a little bit more help we can buy health insurance to cover the medical cost. But what if you couldn't afford any of that and to make matters worse a condition like Parkinson's was seen as being a curse or possession by the devil, and you were treated like an outcast within your own community? It's real and it happens. But we ignore the problems of others because we are only willing to help ourselves and donate to the causes that help us. Well, how much more do we need? And will it make any difference anyway? There's a certain imbalance in the Parkinson's world because we have absolutely no idea what suffering really is. And it takes a documentary about Parkinson's in Africa or South America to realize how badly treated the Parkinson's communities in other parts of the world are because they get next to nothing. And when I heard from Gavin Mogan about how his late wife Amy who died of brain cancer recently wanted him to carry on helping others then I understood. He is trying to raise a million dollars to help people who have Parkinson's in Africa and other third-world countries instead of donating it to himself. There's a certain imbalance in the way we raise billions for organizations such as the Michael J. Fox Foundation and others to try and find a cure for a condition that may never be found when we really should be using the billions to help people now. And I for one totally agree with that. And if I can help Gavin Mogan his children and his late wife Amy raise some money for a just cause like that then I will try to help as much as I can.

SECOND STAR TO THE RIGHT Childhood is something that we can only experience once and then it's gone in a flash of fairy dust. Second star to the right, then straight on til morning. And the time to dream is over. But that doesn't mean that it has to be forgotten. In fact, some childhood memories will last a lifetime and yet they seem so distant, such a long time ago. They become golden memories of a lost childhood. So far away and yet so precious. The days of our youth are such a priceless commodity that it seems to be over before it's begun. But that's the beauty of childhood. Most of it I can remember as if it was yesterday, other images have become blurred over time but my overall impression of my childhood was of happy carefree innocent days with a lifetime waiting to be discovered. Cannock may not have seemed like the most exciting of places to have been growing up in the early 1960s, but it is where I grew up, and that's all that mattered. The town became a giant playground from the top of the Pye Green road by the Shoal Hill Tavern and Cannock Chase beyond, to the bottom by Churchbridge and Bridgetown on Watling Street. But you have to make the best of what you have when you are growing up, and that's exactly what we did. We always managed to find something interesting to do in Cannock or the surrounding area. That's what children do because it's in their nature with their inquisitive minds and their inventive games. It could be playing football in the street with an empty tin can, playing hopscotch with a couple of flat pebbles and a piece of chalk on the pavement, or even playing hide and seek around the back of garden sheds. It was all make-believe and fun. We all have to start somewhere in life and my early years began on the 1st of August 1958 in 'Ivy House' an old workhouse that was converted into a hospital in the 1950s in Cannock Staffordshire, in which my mother Lilian Cox Keene just happened to be working there as a nurse, and so it was a very useful arrangement as far as I was concerned. And, from that point onwards with a twinkle in my eye, I set out, enthusiastically determined to find out what my youthful days had in store for me. I lived with the other four members of my family in lodgings on Saint John's Road, a stone's throw away from Cannock town center, an ex-coal board house built originally for miners and their families. One of my most vivid recollections at the time was of the extraordinary number of shops there were on Saint John's road itself because we had Morris's Grocery store directly opposite the house which was also known by its original name of Westwood's. There was a shop at the very top end of the road that sold fruit and vegetables if I remember correctly, and then there was Loyd's newsagents and post office which was on the corner of Avon Road, there was a men's barbers, which was directly opposite the Crystal Fountain Pub. We also had a betting office. And a little bit further down there was another shop which I can't remember the name of which was by the little road that led to the old Saint Mary's Catholic School and the Holy Rosary nunnery. And, at the very bottom near Laburnham Avenue by Harrison Road, there was a general store called Seaton's. And it crossed my mind how many roads could boast having that many shops? Not very many I would imagine? But my early childhood up to the age of five at least seemed to be a happy time for me. In the early years of life, the family struggled because my dad, who had originally been employed as a miner during the war years had an accident and couldn't work so the family moved around and lodged at 106 Saint John's Road. My mom was working as a nurse at Ivy House at the time so it was a very convenient arrangement as far as I was concerned. But there was absolutely no doubt that the family struggled in those early years of my life because of my dad's accident but eventually, he was able to find employment and we moved on. But that's how my early childhood was and you have to accept the situation you find yourself in and make the best of it. The clothes that I wore were hand-me-downs from my older brother and that's how we managed because we had to share what we had. Regardless of that, I have happy memories of the time we spent living there. I can remember my older sister having a pet tortoise and rabbits which she kept in the old air raid shelter at the bottom of the garden. The spectacular bonfire nights with the box of Benwell fireworks which contained rockets that fizzed and flew up into the air and exploded with a loud bang and a flash of bright colors, The scary jumping jacks, the noisy bangers, and the spinning Catherine wheels. The smell of the sausages the beefburgers, and the potatoes that my Uncle Sam used to cook on the open bonfire. And the sounds of the crackles and sparks from the ever-decreasing size of the bonfire as dying embers and ashes floated up into the cool starry night. I can remember being carried inside as I was half falling asleep. But those are the images and the golden memories that I have. I can remember all the metal Dinky and Corgi cars that I used to play with in the back garden. The roads and motorways that I would build in the sandpit with the help of my older brother. The little paddling pool that my mom would fill up with cold water from the garden tap on hot summer afternoons which she would put me in to stop me getting too hot. The trips up to Cannock Park playing on the swings and the climbing frame. The witch's hat, the roundabouts that made you feel giddy. the chasing games, playing cowboys and Indians, blind man's buff, hide and seek, kiss chase postman's knock, dare, they were all part of my early childhood days that I will never ever forget. The first time I went to the seaside and saw the sea and heard the seagulls. The sandcastles, the bucket, and the spade that my dad bought for me from one of the cheap gift shops along the promenade. my first ride on a donkey. The sticks of rock and the kiss me quick hats. The pleasure beach and the fairground rides. The prized bingo along the never-ending seafront shops and slot machines. Punch and Judy show on the beach. The ice cream sellers and the cafes and chip shops. And Blackpool tower and Pleasure beach. They were all great trips to the seaside but when you couldn't afford to go abroad to Spain it was enough for someone like me. The birthday parties, the cards, and the presents, my very first bike, going to the pictures for the first time. My first day at school. I went to see Doctor Muldoon our family doctor in Chadsmoor when I was feeling ill. He'd sit me on his knee and he would say. Now then Robert what seems to be wrong with you today? And immediately I started to feel much better because of the reassuring voice of our family doctor to a young four-year-old boy that everything was going to be alright. All I can remember of my very early childhood days was playing with the children who lived in and around Saint John's Road Cannock, some of whom I still keep in touch with to this day. And the very fact that I can remember a great deal of my early life would suggest that they were happy times for me. Of course, I have very few specific memories before I reached the age of five because I was far too young to remember the details, but I have blurred memories of my older sister Pamela riding this gigantic horse that she was looking after from the horse riding stables on the Watling Street, which I think was called Follows horse stables, which scared me a little because it seemed so big. And I can remember the heavy snowfalls of the early 1960s and the frozen water pipes. We also had some wonderful times building snowmen and all the snowballs and sleds that were used to slide down St. Johns Road. I can remember getting over-excited at Christmas time, waiting with eager anticipation to see what Santa had brought for me, and getting really upset if I didn't get what I specifically asked for in my letter to him, not realizing at the time that the family were struggling for money so we had to make do with what we were given. I have vague memories of going to see my grandparents Bertram and Nelly Cox who lived on the other side of Cannock in Princess Street Chadsmoor and the hundreds of thousands of cousins that I seemed to have because there were so many of them. But when you take into consideration that my nan and gran had nine children then it all begins to make sense. My grandad Bertram was a miner from one of the local pits and his favorite hobby had always been fishing, Whenever we used to visit them he always took great pride in showing me the fishing rods that he had made himself, and the fishing tackle that he kept under strict lock and key in the shed at the bottom of the garden. I can remember a few years later when I was a little bit older and he was too old to go fishing himself giving me my first fishing rod and providing me with my first fishing license from the Broomhill Albion club in Chadsmoor where I think he was a committee member to fish on the canal in Penkridge. Times were hard for the family in my early life because I had to share a bed with my older brother but that's how it was and you had to make the best of what you had and help each other out as best you could. I can remember when bonfire night came around my mother had to pay for a box full of Benwell fireworks in installments because we couldn't afford to pay. But we managed to get through those times in my early childhood. We all have childhood memories somewhere within us because that's how we start our journey in life. Some of us are destined to have difficult journeys others go through life with hardly a care in the world. But the fact of the matter is that you never know how it will turn out until you are there. I have fond memories of my childhood because it was a time when I was discovering myself and what I was capable of doing. And it's only as I get older that I realize how important it was to me. I came from a working-class background in which money was hard to come by and the biggest priority was to put food on the table, that restricted the things that we could do, but that didn't matter because we were creative and resourceful. If we were able to buy anything new that was expensive we couldn't pay for it outright so we used to pay in monthly installments because there were no credit cards or online bank accounts in those days. But that was the only way we could afford to buy anything. And if you came from a big family it was even harder. But we didn't moan about it because we accepted it for what it was and got on with our lives because we realized very early on that not everybody was born with a silver spoon in their mouth and could afford everything. Everybody's childhood is different and we like to remember the good bits and we forget about the bad bits but the trouble is that if we forget about what actually happened it drops into the waste paper bin and is lost forever. All those golden memories of our youth are gone. Some people remember their childhood with great affection and others want to forget but whichever one it is they will always be part of your life story, and you must never forget that. But the sad thing is we do. We forget our own childhood. Happy memories of running around on playing fields and having our first kiss behind a bush. They disappear and are lost forever. And that feels like a wasted memory. But for me, childhood memories are happy memories and always will be. They were very important and formative years for me. There were years when I was healthy and everything was shiny and awe-inspiring. Life was an adventure, a place to experience, and I did that to my heart's content. I rummaged and explored every aspect of my youth. I was learning about life and it was important because as I was growing up, I was finding out about myself and the world around me, and developing an attitude and character toward what I was seeing and experiencing. I was living my young life and living it at such a young speed that it was turning into a blur all around and was gone within a flash. That's how quick a childhood is, it's gone within an instant and forgotten about. A golden memory of a distant dream. But what tends to happen is that every now and again memory from that distant past will come to the surface again and you will think about what happened at that particular point in your life and you will remember it or try to at least. And it stays in your mind's eye or is thrown back into the waste paper bin of your mind but that is entirely up to you to see. We disseminate things in that we decide what is important and what isn't and that's everybody's personal choice. It's up to them to decide what to do with it. In my case I choose to remember them because they were happy years, they were formative years. They were years that I respect because I was learning about myself and what made me tick as a person. That's why they are so important because they are development years. But we never think about it in terms like that, we only see them as trivial but they are very important years you don't realize it at the time but when you are young at heart the days when you grow up and learn about life are so precious. And memories of those days so quickly fade away in your mind. and you try to think back years later about them and if you don't have some kind of documented history of them then those memories are lost forever in the winds of time and that seems so sad to me because every day that we are on this earth should mean something to somebody.

THE BIG WHEEL

THE BIG WHEEL Clarity is everything because if you can see clearly where you are going then you know where you will eventually end up and that's called being mortal. But mortality is nothing to fear because fear is to feel imperfect, to feel human, to feel emotion to know your weakness. When I look at myself each morning in the mirror I can see an imperfect human being, a person who has reached the age of sixty-five in relatively good health when you consider that I have lived with the symptoms of Parkinson's disease for most of my natural born life. I have been very lucky because I have carried the condition with me had a family and done most of the things that an able-bodied person would be able to do. You have to try to live a normal life while you are able to and live it to the full and not hesitate because you never know how it will affect your life and how quickly it will take away the things that you are able to do. And there is nobody more aware of that than me. But for some incredible reason, I am still here when really my illness should have shortened my life. My Parkinsonism began when I was thirteen but I didn't really know what it was until I was nineteen and then I was absolutely sure but I didn't make it official until I was twenty-nine when my symptoms started to worsen, and now I am sixty-five and have led a relatively full life. And that's because I tried not to think about it too much and I have lived my life to the best of my ability and that's all anybody can do. I've carried it with me and tried to put it to one side. But nobody on the planet can totally shut it out because it's degenerative and you know that at the back of your mind. But if you look after yourself as best you can and you keep yourself in relatively good condition you can beat it as I have and lead a longer life than might be expected. And now every day I live from this point onwards I will enjoy as much as I did the one before, because I know that I will find something in them that will make life worth living, worth carrying on. And that's because I have clarity and understand what is happening to me. It's a life cycle, a wheel that we are all on and it keeps turning and never stops until it's meant to stop and you have to accept it. But, in the meantime enjoy life and live it to the full have no regrets, and accept the process that we all live through because it's natural and was meant to be. The worst thing that anybody diagnosed with Parkinson's or any serious health condition for that matter is to live their life and feel sorry for themselves because that will give them nothing. And you will look at the world from prison cell bars of your own making because it will have been self-inflicted. And that would be a sad end to anybody's life and a complete waste of time. I could never be like that because I believe you should try however difficult it might become. You have to live your life with enthusiasm or else you end up living a miserable life, and feeling sorry for yourself and that would achieve absolutely nothing and I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody. If I thought that every day was going to be a bad day before I got out of bed each morning I just wouldn't bother and I would stay there. We all have bad days which we all have from time to time but don't blame the world for not making the effort. In reality, whatever happens in your life is your responsibility so be accountable for your actions and don't blame others. Life is what you make of it because the big wheel will keep turning. Robert James Keene 2023